How To Use Photographs To Spark Conversation With The Elderly
Flashback to the mid-1970s. Kodak Film launched a “Times of Your Life” television advertisement campaign. It featured sentimental photos and video, along with music written by Bill Lane and Roger Nichols and sung by Paul Anka. The television ad was a hit! Folks viewed what appeared to be everyday families in the photos and videos. Viewers were hooked into pondering their own stories – and hence a desire to capture and define them. It emphasized the emotional connections we share.
Connections are ever so important for our elderly loved ones. It may even have health implications.
Assistant Professor Krupa Shah, MD, MPH of the University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry in an article entitled ‘Social Connectedness: A Key To Healthy Aging’ wrote: “Studies have shown that older people who have close connections and relationships not only live longer, but also cope better with health conditions and experience less depression.”¹
That’s encouraging news!
This got me thinking, what is a close connection? How does one foster healthy connections with elderly loved ones? Let’s dive in.
A close connection is simply someone you’ve come to know better. You enjoy their company. You’ve learned their likes, dislikes, tendencies, opinions, and their personality. You share life experiences and positive interactions.
It accomplishes the following:
Staves off boredom
Improves outlook
Boosts confidence
Provides encouragement
Promotes belongingness
Helps people weather hardships
Conversations are the catalyst to get to know someone better. So what do you talk about? The weather? Your newest grandchild? That’s all good. However, I have something else in mind. I want to recommend that you pair questions with something else. I want to share how something so simple as photographs can spark meaningful conversations. We desire to define who we are. Photographs are a natural tool to do so.
Why Photographs? Why not just questions?
Photographs serve as an icebreaker. The real appeal for stimulating conversation is that it’s someone’s personal history. When approached rightly, it’s like they’re opening up a treasure trove. Why photos? Why not just ask them questions? Let’s compare images versus words. Which is processed by our brains faster? It’s not even close. Research reveals (that) “…the human brain processes images 60,000 faster than text… ”² Furthermore, when starting conversations, the more senses you appeal to the better. It facilitates a response better.
Open-ended questions
What are open-ended questions? Oxford Reference defines it as “A question that requires respondents to provide answers in their own words, rather than ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘don't know’. Such questions as Why…? What…? When…? are asked without providing answers from which to choose…”³
Closed-end questions are identified by those answered by ‘yes’, ‘no’. The reason why open-ended questions are more appropriate here than closed-ended questions is that open-ended questions provide an opportunity for the respondents to ponder and elaborate on answers. Their answers give better clues to their thought processes. It provides feedback on opinions, feelings, and emotional states. In thus sharing their thoughts, connections between those communicating are strengthened. The goal is to help them take the risk of sharing themselves. In turn, you affirm the risk they took and validate them as an interesting person. It’s a back-and-forth engagement. You both share ideas and affirm one another. It builds and maintains rapport.
Ease into it, experiment
How do you start using photographs? I recommend that you ease into it. Start with neutral photographs. You’ll soon gain momentum. Choose stuff they like. Maybe it’s sunsets. Or professional sports. Or a nice photo of a recipe cooked up to perfection. Or pet animals. Where do you access these photographs? Start with your public library. You can check out large photograph books. Or purchase thrift store used magazines. Ask these type of questions: Who, what, where, when, why, how.
Here are some examples of questions:
“You love dogs. Share some stories about your first pet dog. What was it’s name? Describe it’s personality.”
“Name some enjoyable celebrations. What foods did you pair with it? Who’d you invite?
Be patient with their answers. Listen and affirm them. Then slowly encourage them to share their thoughts.
Next, you can try iconic photographs. Begin with iconic ones.
i.e. Man on the Moon, JFK death, Elvis, The Beatles, Watergate
Experiment with various photographs. You’ll know you’ve hit upon an effective icebreaker photograph. Your elderly loved one will have lots to say about it. Linger in those conversations.
Transition to family photographs
Family photographs are so personal. Ask permission to view them. You’ll need to use extra sensitivity. Parents break up. Fractured families sometimes leave a wake of pain. Be sensitive to their feelings of loss or grief. Life happens. People lose their jobs or suffer from health challenges.
Let them lead, pause if needed. Tread lightly. Let them ponder. Sometimes it’s best to simply be silent. Allow their thoughts to percolate. They may cry or laugh. If you’re viewing a photo album, let them turn the pages. They’ll stop to comment on photos they wish to comment on. Or, they’ll skip the painful ones. That’s okay. Remember, it’s their personal history. Treat it with kindness and respect. Your elderly loved one may have a gazillion photos, or simply a handful. The quantity doesn’t matter. The important thing is to listen to their stories. Try to gently promote conversation and affirm them.
Steps to have them continue talking
Ask them open-ended legacy questions. What do they want to be remembered for? What accomplishments? Which character traits? It points to a bright future. How about photographs regarding their career? Let them elaborate on it. We come to a favorite photograph talking point, their home life. Ask them about their growing-up years. What traditions did their family follow? Did they live with extended or multi-generational families? Perhaps you could inquire about life’s learnings:
What would you tell your 20-year-old self? Your 30-year-old self? Your 40-year-old self? Your 50-year-old self? Turn the tables, let them hear you share: share your world: tech. Hone their listening skills
More questions to pose
Who was/is their best friend? What did/do they best appreciate about them?
Describe a great workday.
Share about a very challenging personal goal you accomplished
What was your perfect vacation?
Are you tech-savvy? Create a free 30-day trial Canva Pro account. You can download royalty-free photos.
Make your deck of conversation cards
Scavenge: thrift stores, cut magazines
What if you played a game of 'Remember when...'
You could ask your elderly loved one to compare and contrast the price of gas, eggs, and a loaf of bread, in what respective year. They could just guesstimate.
Here's a fun idea. What if you selected fashion trend photos and asked them to identify what decade were these clothes from.
Get intergenerational family members involved
Get your children and grandchildren involved. Ask them to guess the cost of bread, a gallon of gas when Grandpa or Grandma was 30 years old or 40 years old. Allow Grandpa and Grandma to share their personal stories. More questions could include: What was their pay per hour? What could they buy with that amount of money? What were grocery stores like in their growing-up years? How much did it cost to attend the movies? Show genuine interest. Use active listening skills to keep the conversation going.
Conclusion
There are precious stories behind photographs. Just waiting to be shared. Go ahead. Take the initiative to use photographs as icebreakers. Earlier I quoted Dr. Shah who stated that the benefits of close connections and relationships for elders are: (that they) live longer lives, can cope better with health conditions, and experience less depression.4 Above all, closer connections help elders to be more engaged with life. Will you start using photographs as ice-breakers for meaningful conversations?
Footnotes:
¹ Shah, Krupa MD, MPH Assistant Professor University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry (10-29-15) HIA Guest Blog. Social Connectedness: A Key To Healthy Aging. Retrieved (3-19-24) from: https://www.healthinaging.org/blog/social-connectedness-a-key-to-healthy-aging/
² Kosmyna, Nataliya, Jussi T. Lindgren and Anatole Le´coyer (8-2018) Atttending to Visual Stimuli Versus Performing Visual Imagery as a Control Strategy for EEG-based Brain-Computer Interfaces. Retrieved (3-20-24) from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6125597/
³ Oxfordreference.com (retrieved 2024, March 19) The phrase open-ended question. https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100251966
4 Shah, Krupa MD, MPH Assistant Professor University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry (10-29-15) HIA Guest Blog. Social Connectedness: A Key To Healthy Aging. Retrieved (3-19-24) from: https://www.healthinaging.org/blog/social-connectedness-a-key-to-healthy-aging/
