Are You A Working Family Caregiver? What You’re Facing and a Few Helpful Tips
Are you a working family caregiver? If you could put into words how you could describe how you feel about your dual responsibilities, what would you say? Would it be – you feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends? Or, that you feel like you’re constantly juggling more and more items in the air? Or, do you fear what athletes call being ‘gassed out’?
Caregiving in the U.S. 2015 was a study presented by The National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) and the AARP Public Policy Institute. 1,248 family caregivers ages 18 or older were interviewed.
In one segment, the findings on working family caregivers from the survey revealed the following:
“3 out of 5 work while also caring for family member or friend
More than 1 out of 2 work full time
They work an average of 34.7 hours per week
Just about 1 out of 2 feel they had no choice but to take on caregiving responsibilities” ¹
Read on. I’ll share a few tips to help you with your dual responsibilities.
Journaling – a solid resource
Put into perspective what you are facing. Explore your emotions and the social isolation you are experiencing. These may be solitary challenges. Determine that you won’t face these challenges of working and providing family caregiving alone. Find resources to get you through. Here’s a huge help - journal. A spiral notebook will suffice. Make the purpose of it not to vent, but to chronicle breakthroughs and life’s blessings. Record inspiring quotes. Here's a few that I like:
“ It’s not what happens to you that matters, but how you react to it that matters.”² (Epictetus)
“When we choose thankful prayer over wallowing in anxiety and worry, we are demonstrating an unwavering trust in God.”³ (Priscilla Shirer)
“The non-anxious person rejects loneliness. He or she chooses connection, even when it’s hard. You choose love over hate, friendships over disconnection, and awkwardness over networking. This is an entry point toward a non-anxious life.”4 (John Delony)
Get these quotes onto your refrigerator door so that you can view them often.
Your dual responsibilities are challenging, but not impossible
Employee Assistance Program
If your company offers this program, refer to their Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
Learn what services are available for you
One notable benefit is that the program helps employees maintain productivity at work, reduce absenteeism, and balance life responsibilities
Counseling benefits are typically available by telephone or a virtual meeting. Most EAP programs try to make the wait times for scheduled appointments short and easily accessible. They are normally free to the employee (with some restrictions) and help with:
Stress management
Handling emotions
Remain resilient amid challenges
Personal financial management
Life Coaching
Best practices
Access is simple – telephone or virtual meeting
Confidential
Meanwhile, some EAPs can make initial calls to potential in-home, non-medical caregiving agencies to gather information. This can help you jump-start arranging for the vital help you need.
A One-Page Help Tool
Take a notepad and jot down your responsibilities with work and family caregiving. Then, document the responsibilities in greater detail. Group those responsibilities around the type of tasks they revolve around. For example: Household tasks. Or landscaping tasks and financial tasks. Ask for help. It creates a community and invites your support network to help
I highly recommend the free online platform Give InKind. It features one ‘page’ where you can list needs (meals, help needed, support, donations and other resources needed, companionship or transportation to doctor’s visits, picking up medicines). You’re able to post updates, milestones, challenges in writing, photos, and videos. Handling dual responsibilities can at times be extremely exhausting. You’ll need to take every rest break you can get. You do not need to feel that you have to respond to phone calls or text inquiries regarding how you and your elderly loved one are doing. Instead of repeating yourself in your response to their inquiries or to be polite to answer every question they have you can simply direct them to the Give InKind page you set up. First, ask your elderly loved one if they are comfortable with a ‘page’ that can be made to communicate the situation your family is in. Instructions specify that “you choose how visible or how private you wish the information to be”5
Asking For Help
What if you’re struggling to ask for help?
Why is this so difficult?
Some reasons could include:
You're worried what others may think of you, that you’re not self-sufficient
Individualism
If I ask for help, will others think that I'm weak?
Maybe you had a previous not-so-pleasant experience of asking for and receiving help
Made a vow that only you would provide care to your elderly loved one
Too high a standard, temptation to hover
Not wanting to be indebted
Here are some benefits of asking and receiving help:
Givers enjoy the feeling of giving
Breaking down the type of giving you could benefit from gives the giver options and makes the giving doable.
Why not help others experience the feeling of giving
You learn to receive.
You teach others that life is about giving and receiving
Perhaps others have declined your request to help, you may have a fear of rejection.
Be persistent
Present the need. Refrain from guilting others if they decline your request.
Hire help
Hire out certain tasks
It’s okay to recognize that you can’t do it all yourself.
Dual responsibilities require you to manage your time wisely.
Some services make sense and in the end, preserve your emotional and physical resources
These include:
Cleaning service
Landscaping – mow and blow
Ask your friends, and co-workers for recommendations.
Consider ordering a subscription to food kits
Explore the benefits of meal prep. This can be a time and energy saver.
How Our Agency Can Help You
When you hire our agency your care still shines through. That’s because you took the time to arrange for this help. Give yourself a respite. It will recharge your emotional and physical reserves. Arranging for service is simple. It starts with a phone call. We’ll listen to your story. Together we come up with a care plan. You can reach us at 805-238-3500.
Conclusion
Managing your dual responsibilities of working and family caregiving requires you to determine not to face these challenges alone. The few tips I’ve shared can lighten your load. Go ahead, and begin your journey of asking for help. Then, graciously receive that help. It will make a world of positive impact. Which one of my few tips will you start implementing?
Resources list:
Family Caregiver Alliance. Caregiver Statistics: Work And Caregiving. Retrieved (2024, March 27) from: https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-statistics-work-and-caregiving/
Gleckman, Howard (6-4-15) A New Snapshot of America’s 44 Million Family Caregivers: Who They Are And What They Do. Retrieved (2024, March 25) from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/howardgleckman/2015/06/04/a-new-snapshot-of-americas-44-million-family-caregivers-who-they-are-and-what-they-do/?sh=559ee9eb3ab2
Footnotes:
¹National Alliance For Caregiving and AARP (Association Of Retired Persons) Caregiving in the U.S. – AARP 2015 Report. Retrieved (2024, March 28) from: https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/ppi/2015/caregiving-in-the-united-states-2015-report-revised.pdf
²Epictetus. Ancient Greek Philosopher. Retrieved (2024, April 3) from: https://www.brainyquote.com/lists/authors/top-10-epictetus-quotes
³Shirer, Priscilla. (2022) The Armor of God. Lifeway Press.
4Delony, John. (2023) Building a Non-Anxious Life. Ramsey Press
5Give InKind website explainer video. How It Works Step - By - Step. Retrieved (2024, April 1) from: https://www.giveinkind.com/how-inkind-works
